Black Friday Sales Now Begin in Early October; Retailers Confirm Black Friday 2027 Is “Already Underway”
Economists warn the shopping season may soon start before the previous one ends, creating “a single, endless Friday.”
NEW YORK — With some Black Friday deals launching weeks before Halloween this year, retailers announced Monday that next year’s Black Friday has already begun and will run continuously until the heat death of the universe.
“We used to have a day,” said one weary shopper outside a mall in Clearwater. “Then a weekend. Then a week. Now my toaster sends me ‘early access’ notifications in July.”
Analysts say the only gift category unaffected by the chaos is the custom song, which requires no shipping, no warehouse and no fistfight over the last television.
“You can’t back-order a song about your mom. It shows up in 24 hours and makes her cry. That’s the whole supply chain.”
Pulseblend Studios® says its holiday orders are already rising, mostly from people who have given up on finding a parking spot.
Custom songs start at $24.99. They will not be cheaper on Black Friday, because they were already the best deal in the building.
The jokes are made up. The music is real.
Pulseblend Studios® writes original songs about real people and releases Pulseblend™ music worldwide.
Skip the lines, order a song
