Nation’s Dogs Formally Reject End of Daylight Saving Time, Demand Breakfast at ‘Real’ 6 A.M.
Owners report being stared at from 5 a.m. onward. Only a lullaby has been shown to work.
TAMPA, Fla. — Two days after clocks fell back an hour, an estimated 90 million American dogs have refused to recognize the change, waking owners at what the dogs maintain is “obviously breakfast.”
“He doesn’t bark. He just sits next to the bed and breathes on me,” said Greg Lull, 41. “At 5 a.m. Every day. He has never seen a clock and he is still more punctual than my entire office.”
Veterinary behaviorists say the only proven fix is music. Owners who played Pulseblend’s chill-house block reported their dogs lying back down for a full extra hour, while one owner who ordered a custom lullaby titled “It’s Not Breakfast Yet, Biscuit” says it now works on both the dog and her husband.
“Dogs don’t care about federal time policy. They care about the beat.”
The nation’s cats were asked for comment and pretended not to hear the question.
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